Monday, December 30, 2013

Wrestling with Hopelessness

Tossed and turned all night from thoughts and images after seeing '12 Years a Slave'. A wave of sadness and depression washed over me-- not in response to the typical narrative of black vs white, but instead at the realization of the depths of wickedness and depravity that lie within all of our hearts. It's only by the grace of God that he does not turn us all over to the true nature of our flesh. My mind keeps scrolling through the centuries and centuries of slavery, oppression, and genocide-- starting from the Israelites in Egypt and wondering under what present-day injustices are others still suffering. 

I keep thinking, "It could have been me..."

I'm trying to understand how people found the strength to endure a life of such despair, and I find myself clinging desperately to our promised savior-- it's the only thing that could offer any form of hope in the reality of such cruelty and utter darkness.

In the New Testament Paul says, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Oh, how I pray that this is true.

"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:18-28

It's our only hope...