Before I Go

Ok, it's official; I just bought my ticket-- I have 2 more weeks left in NYC!!! Yikes!!! I know I'll be here again soon, but I still have a long list of things that I want to make sure I do before I leave.  I also took a walk down memory lane while I was compiling this list, and it reminded me of how blessed I've been this year.  What an incredible and life-changing experience!

If there's anything missing from my list, let me know!  But keep in mind I only have 14 days to do them!

Broadway
Mary Poppins
Phantom of the Opera
Chicago

Been there, done that:
Sister Act
Book of Mormon
Memphis
West Side Story
Wicked (Broadway on Tour)
How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying



Shows
SNL- I hear you have to sign up for this once a year, but I'm still keeping it on my list :(
David Letterman
Apollo Theater- Amateur Night
Free Summer Concert Series
Nuyorican Poets Cafe- slam poetry open mic- waited in a line that wrapped the building, but couldn't get in.  I hear it's that good!

Been there, done that:
Broadway on Broadway- opening season show in Times Square- performances from each Bwy cast (and I was in the intermission performance!)
GLEE Live Tour- "audience member" for movie filming and then tickets to the concert afterwards






Experiences
Kayak in the Hudson
Trapeze at Chelsea's rig
Explore High Line park
Eat a hot dog at Coney Island
Jersey Shore/ the Brownstone/ and Teresa and Joe's pizza parlor

Been there, done that: 
Walk the Brooklyn Bridge- done several times- INCREDIBLE at sunset
Attend a Yankees game
Museum of Modern Art- you need the entire day
Visit Ground Zero on Sept 11 
Ride bikes through Central Park- delightful during leave-changing season
Boat cruise around Lady Liberty
View NYC from the top of the Empire State Building
Rockafeller Center- breathtaking at Christmas time
Write on New Year's Eve confetti that falls in Times Square
Union Square farmer's market
Shopping in Williamsburg, Brooklyn- super hipster
Korean-town Private Karaoke Rooms- so much fun!





Restaurants
Nook
Patsy's
Papaya King
Bagelberry- it's the Pinkberry of bagels and cream cheese! So many options!


Been there, done that:
Amy Ruth's- chicken and waffles
Grimaldi's- voted no. 1 pizzeria in NYC
Shake Shack- okay burgers; incredible ice cream blizzards, including one with jelly donuts!
Vinyl- most hilarious waitstaff; crazy good brunch
Blockhead's- 17 different flavors of frozen margaritas! coconut's my go to 
Mother Burger- great junk food menu; fun environment; cheap drinks
Hot Bagels- strawberry cream cheese mixed with real strawberry slices
Hillstone- scariest management, best all-around food in NYC
Clinton St. Baking Co- biscuits and jam instead of bread basket
Five Napkin Burger- okay burgers; coffee toffee brownie sundae- to die for!
Southern Hospitality- amazing ribs, stuffing, and sweet potato fries; worst-case pecan pie
Food Trucks: hot dogs, hot sausages, falafel, waffles, pretzels, hot nuts, bagels, dumplings- wow this list amazes me! so many great things can come from a truck!



Desserts 
Serendipity- signed up for the 2 hour wait list, but didn't stay
Magnolia
Crumbs
Dean and Deluca

Been there, done that:  
Max Brenner's- creative dessert designs
Junior's- best cheesecake
Pinkberry- Swirl is better
Levain Bakery- their cookies are the size of muffins! and delicious!





Bars
Irish Rogue
Brooklyn Brewery
Redemption
Frying Pan- bar on a boat in the Hudson

Been there, done that:  

Mercury Bar- party goes all night long; top 40 music pumping; friendly crowd 
O'Flaherty's- live music 7 nights a week
Reunion Surf Bar- ditsy waitresses, but fun tropical drink menu
Smith's Bar- live music, full dinner menu, decent time

Exploration

I thought I'd announce this here as a special reward to my blog followers.  First of all, thank you so much for your support during my year of adventures and self-discovery.  It's been such an intense and emotional year, but honestly, something as simple as knowing that you guys were reading this, and encouraging me to update more frequently, helped me to feel grounded in your friendship even though I was miles away. 

When I was in Nicaragua, there was a girl there who was volunteering from the States.  She had lived there in a small village for over a year with limited communication with her family-- i.e. a few times a week when she could get into the city and find an internet cafe, etc.  She was wrapping up her time in Nicaragua, about to move back to the U.S., and I remember her telling me that her biggest fear throughout her time in Nicaragua was the idea that her family and friends' lives just kept on going without her in it.  At the time I didn't fully understand her statement-- it seemed a bit selfish and a little over-dramatic; it's not like her family was going to forget about her, and it was only a year...  But within my first month of living in NYC on my own, her comment kept running through my mind, and I instantly found its meaning.  So again I thank you for taking an interest in my adventures, and essentially, even if it was just for a few minutes a day, allowing our two worlds to intersect. 

With that being said, here's my fun news:
As of 1:06pm (EST), I became the newest and proudest East End Explorer!  I will be East End's very first dance instructor, and I get the extreme privilege of building a dance program from the ground up! And the icing to the cake: my new boss helped assuage one of my fears by being extremely flexible and creative in allowing me to find ways to continue my dance education in Houston so that I don't lose all of the training and development I acquired here in New York City.  I'm extremely excited about my next chapter, and feel as though everything is falling in place more perfectly than I could have imagined.  I'll be staying in NYC as long as possible so I can squeeze out every ounce of talent and passion from this rich city-- probably leaving towards the end of July (the poet in me leaning towards the 26th to be exact, rounding out my one full year to the date)!

So there it is!  I am excited to be coming back to Texas and YES Prep-- drastically different, and eager to apply all that I've learned about life to my new phase, while still very much the same, and excited to feel at home again. 

'Tis so sweet...

Food for Thought

After recently retiring from my 8-month stint with waiting tables, I woke up at 4:30am this morning to return to the food service industry-- but this time with joy and excitement in my heart.  For many years, I've struggled with a desire to serve people who are homeless and hungry, but always having a different excuse for not getting involved.  Today was a first step as I went to St. Bartholomew's Church to serve a warm breakfast to anyone who chose to come.  What I loved about the church was that they had us set up 36 place settings, and allowed men and women to come in and sit for as long as they wanted.  Once someone left, a new person was welcomed in to have a seat.  No one was rushed, and seconds and thirds were given upon request.  Ladies walked around the room with carafes offering more apple juice and hot coffee, and as our guests left, they were encouraged to take baggies with tuna sandwiches and cereal bars with them for later in the day.  And if they wanted extra sandwiches, all they had to do was ask.  I couldn't get over how laissez-faire the whole process seemed to be.  I suppose I was expecting people to be herded through a line and scolded for asking for more than their fair share-- as if they should simply be grateful that we were doing this great service for them... but perhaps I was projecting those expectations from the darkness in my heart...

I just couldn't understand how everyone was going to be served endlessly without us running out of food, but to my great surprise, we had leftovers by the end of the meal, and we were trying to give extra food away!  And as always is the case in these situations, I walked away humbled and enlightened...


Late in the afternoon the Twelve came to him and said, "Send the crowd away so they can go to the surrounding villages and countryside and find food and lodging, because we are in a remote place here."  [Jesus] replied, "You give them something to eat."  They answered, "We have only five loaves of bread and two fish." (About five thousand men were there.)  But he said to his disciples, "Have them sit down in groups of about fifty each."  The disciples did so, and everybody sat down.  Taking the five loaves and two fish and looking up to the heaven, he gave thanks and broke them.  Then he gave them to the disciples to set before the people.  They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.  Luke 9:12-17

Defying Gravity

I don't really know who's reading which blogs, but this was a pretty defining moment in my NYC life, so I'm posting it to my main blog.  If you want to know more about my dancing/singing training, follow me on my 30-Day Full-Voice Challenge Blog: Rachael's 30-Day Challenge.

Today was my first private lesson with Kurt Robinson-- the organizer of the 30-Day Full-Voice Challenge: Broadway Dance Center-- Full Voice Challenge.  I've taken group classes from him for several months, but I've been afraid of going to his Performance class or taking private lessons from him because I didn't think I was ready.  Here's a blurb from the bio on his website:

Kurt’s clientele have enjoyed thriving performances in some of the hottest Broadway productions and national tours, including Billy Elliot, In the Heights, Hair, Spring Awakening, The Color Purple, Hairspray, Wicked, The Lion King, Tarzan, The Little Mermaid, Phantom of the Opera, Dream Girls, Guys and Dolls, West Side Story, A Chorus Line, Producers, Chicago, Spamalot, American Idiot, and the Radio City Rockettes. He has coached recording artists for the Columbia Artists, Jive, Def Jam, Epic, Atlantic, and Nickelodeon labels.

I hope this begins to paint the picture of why I was a little nervous about singing in front of him.  Nevertheless, in the Challenge's spirit of facing my fears, I signed up for my lesson with Kurt in hopes of learning from one of the best.  In preparation for our first meeting, I ran all over town trying to print and purchase sheet music for various songs so that we had a variety to choose from.  I didn't want to get there and have him tell me that none of the songs I had were really appropriate for my voice.

After walking me through some vocal warm ups for about 30 minutes, he asked me what music I brought.  I told him that I really wanted to work on "Landslide" by the Dixie Chicks, but I could only find the Fleetwood Mac version.  I told him that I also brought "Fallen for You" by Colbie Caillet, and that long, long, long term I really hoped to one day work on the Glee version of "Defying Gravity".  We tinkered with "Landslide" for a few moments, and he told me what key I could transpose the music to so that it would sound like the Dixie Chick version.  He had me sing through "Fallen for You" once, and then he said: "This is too easy for you.  Bring out the 'Defying Gravity'!"

Let's just say that for a brief second there was a mini 4th of July fireworks display inside my chest.  I went to my bag and pulled out my Glee music book-- I tried to use those few seconds to take deep breaths and relax.  And as he played the intro, I realized this is it, all or nothing... I'm just going to go for it.  And I went for it.  I sang that song like I had done so many times before--  in my bedroom when I was positive none of my roommates were home, in my car with the windows rolled up tight, in the shower when the water and tile acoustics make everyone sound like American Idol-- I went for it.  When I finished, I waited for the casual dismissal, the "yeaaaa... let's hold on to that one..." or the "we can keep coming back to that one when we want to push ourselves..."  But that's not what he said.

Instead he said, "You are definitely ready for this piece."  And although it's been 9 months since I've moved to New York City, my journey started today, in that moment.  I've been called out on it so many times before-- I am my own worst enemy, and my mind is the one thing that's holding me back.  I'd heard it from Goheen, "Trust yourself, Rachael."  I'd heard it from Bettina, "Just go for it."  I'd heard it from Sheila, "Get out of your own way."  I'd heard it from my other teachers, and my mom, and my friends, and complete strangers.  I've heard it since I was 9 years old starting my very first dance classes at Miss Darlette's studio. I've heard it my entire life.  So it was nothing new when Kurt told me, "You have the technique and you're doing everything right, you just need to build your confidence."  But for some reason, today was my tipping point, and today, I chose to listen. 

Today I decided to accept the fact that I'm an artist.  Being an artist isn't about trying to outdo the person next to you, or about being the best, or becoming a star.  It isn't about the competition at all-- quite the contrary.  You become an 'artist' when you recognize that the comparisons no longer matter, and you do what you do because something comes alive inside of you when you do it.  Artists dedicate themselves to developing their craft, and they get as much of a thrill receiving a standing ovation at a sold out theater as they do in the privacy of their own studio when they master a new technique in their practice.  Rachael the Artist recognizes that there will always be room to be better, but that truth is no longer viewed as a defeat; instead it's viewed as a reward-- part of the ongoing commitment to growth and creativity that artists accept with their title.  I knew 'something changed within me' when I realized that for the first time in my life, I am no longer afraid of failing... I'm afraid of not trying.


"I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so.  Some things I cannot change, but 'til I try, I'll never know."
-Defying Gravity

The Revolving Door

Meet Christy Krumm.  Christy and I met on our first day of orientation at Hillstone Restaurant.  We were the only two new hires that day, so we immediately clung to one another as we tried to get acclimated to the intimidating environment that was our new job.  During our time together, we realized that we had a lot in common.  We were both brand new to New York City-- just a few weeks apart from one another.  She had moved from sunny beaches of California to pursue her dream of writing, and I had moved from the rolling plains of Texas to pursue my dream of dancing.  (I do recognize that I am from the thriving metropolis of Houston, and that I have never lived on a rolling plain, but it just go with it. :))

A few months into our friendship, Christy and I realized that we attended the same church.  She then invited me to a community group and the women's Bible study that she had been going to, and I started to attend those gatherings as well.  Whenever Christy and I would run in to each other, we would update each other on our lives, and it was apparent that we were in a similar love/hate relationship with the City... 
---
I'm wrapping up my time here in NYC, and I've been jotting down ideas of how I will capture this city and my time here in my blog-- I knew I was going to entitle it The Revolving Door and explain its tenacious and temporal qualities, but last night Christy sent some of us a link to her blog, and I knew that I could now never write that post.  She wrote it for me-- and it's beautiful and eloquent and accurate.  I'm just thankful that she beat me to it because she's an incredible writer, and my words could not have done justice to what this experience has been like.  So here's a window into my heart through the words of Christy Krumm: http://bloggingmisschris.blogspot.com/2011_02_27_archive.html. 

His Kingdom Come: On Earth As It Is in Heaven

Johnny Wilcox called me an angel...

I got into a really good conversation last night.  I was talking with some friends about the possibility of there being a more spiritual realm present in this life that we can tap into through meditation, yoga, prayer, or some form of extended communication with our creator.  And although I feel that we can be proactive in accessing this realm and being more aware of its presence on a regular bases, I also believe that there are random moments throughout our lives that the realm itself actually cuts through our obliviousness and forces us to face the deeper level of spirituality that lies beneath the surface of this life-- whether it's being inexplicably moved by a piece of music, or  having a breathtaking experience with nature, or feeling as though time stood still when you were drinking wine and sharing stories with the just perfect permutation of friends.  ***  Haley shared a story with us of a young boy at her camp that was paralyzed on the left side of his body, but loved dancing.  And while dancing at camp, he got so lost in the music, so 'surrendered' to the moment, that at one point both of his arms just danced up above his head.  To me, these are moments when the spiritual realm pierces through our thick layers of egocentrism, and materialism, and every other artificial -ism that society drowns us in, in order to expose small glimpses of what the creator truly intended life to be.

A few months ago, I had an encounter with said spiritual realm, and I wrote it down in my journal so I could come back to it and remember God's clear signs of his presence in our lives:

I had been praying for you to soften my heart and show me more day-to-day ways that I can serve those who are less fortunate than me and teach me to see people as Jesus saw them.  I passed by Johnny today as I was walking home from church.  He shook his cup of money, I smiled at him and kept walking, and he called out after me, something like, "Have a blessed day."  After several more steps, something tugged at my heart-- I can't keep walking away from the poor saying that I'm afraid to give them money because I don't know what they'll do with it.  That's just an excuse, and you are calling me to something more.  So I turned around and asked him if I could buy him a sandwich.  He asked for an egg and cheese sandwich and a cup of coffee.  While I was inside purchasing his meal, I wondered how this was advancing the kingdom of God.  Wasn't I just giving him a handout?  Wouldn't I just be dropping off an inexpensive sandwich and then be on my way to my warm apartment and my fridge full of groceries?  Would he in any way link this act to 'God'?  Would this in someway strengthen his faith and bring him closer to you?  Would this in any way change him or change me?  I wanted to be obedient, and I wanted to help someone in need, but I couldn't understand where you really fit into the picture.  Nevertheless, I took his sandwich and coffee out to him, and he was mid-conversation with a man who had just left a dollar in his cup.  I didn't fully understand what the original question must have been, but Johnny was answering it fervently: "Of course I have Jesus! God is sending me angels!  This morning I had pains in my stomach because I needed something to eat.  This girl (pointing to me), at first passed by me, but then turned back around to offer me food.  And you've given me this dollar so I can buy a cup of coffee later.  I sleep under the train tracks at night, with the rats, and when I wake up in the morning, I'm dehydrated-- I need a cup of coffee.  So people say, 'Is there a God, or is there not a God?' Of course there's a God! And he's sending his angels to us.  God is good!"  And there was my answer.

Really?! Could that conversation have been any more perfectly engineered and timed?!  Not to say that every person who is helped believes in God or that he's sending angels, but that conversation was for me, not Johnny.  In fact, I would be bold enough to say that Johnny knows more about God than I do.  Perhaps Johnny spends more time accessing the spiritual realm than I do.  To sleep with rats, in the subway tunnels, in the dead of New York winter, and say, 'God is good,' displays a level of faith that I've never experienced in my life.  Johnny was actually my angel that day that God was using to speak to me.  I instantly flashed to my months of whining and complaining in NYC-- about being cold or not having enough money or feeling lonely...

God, I don't know how you put up with me, but thank you for your patience, and thank you for teaching me a little every day.  May I be diligent enough to spend time-- removed from the hustle and bustle -- tapping into your realm of unfiltered joy, peace, and love.

Winter Wrap-Up

I know it's mid-April, and many of you have been enjoying 70+ weather for several weeks now, but here in NYC, we're finally at the tail end of winter.  In looking at the consistency of my blog posts, it looks as though I hibernated for the winter, so here's my attempt at summarizing all the awesome things that has happened here in the Big Frozen Apple.

Curtain Call

I graduated from my Broadway Dance Center program!  So now I just take classes on my own schedule.  Being a free agent is going well, but dancing so much during the program really put a strain on my body, and my old injuries have resurfaced-- specifically my once torn hamstrings.  I've done a lot of internet research regarding the matter, and I think that I have years of scar tissue that built up around my hamstrings, and every time I take class and force myself into different positions, the tissue tears a little more and more scar tissue develops.  I've lost a lot of range of motion, and it's been very frustrating.  I'm planning on trying acupuncture later this week; I'm not sure if that's the answer, but I've tried a lot of other things, so this is next on the list.   No matter what, I'm hopeful that I can be healed! *** As a result of my dance injuries, I started focusing more on singing towards the end of my program.  I changed my concentration from just Jazz to Jazz/Theatre.  Adding Theatre to my concentration allowed me to add several voice classes into my weekly schedule.  In May, I'll be performing a vocal ensemble piece at Symphony Space.  Rehearsals are going well, and I'm excited to perform at such a large venue.  I'll try to post a video! *** Lastly, I went on my first dance audition last week.  It was a HUGE first step for me.  I've been terrified of going, and there were actually several points throughout the day when I almost turned around and crawled back into my bed, but I stuck it out, and I did it!  And thanks to everyone who voted on my headshots. I actually didn't have them ready for the audition, and had to use a 4x6 photo which was really embarrassing, but it gave me the push I needed to finally place the order.  I hope to go on at least five more auditions before I leave NYC.  There's not really any show that I specifically want to be a part of, but I just want to get over my fears in general-- that will be the greatest gift I will take from this whole experience.  So I'm going to keep cranking them out; wish me luck!  

Hillstone's History
Black tie. Black vest. Black slacks. White buttoned-down Oxford. White apron with starched crease. Slicked back pony-tail. 'All slain. All dead.'  Yes I finally quit my job at Hillstone Restaurants! The anxiety and negative energy was too much for me.  It was actually affecting the rest of my NYC experience, as I spent most of my week dreading the approach of my next shift.  My heart would literally race as I started each shift.  I started getting to work early and bringing my Bible with me so I could give myself time to calm down.  It just wasn't a healthy environment-- never feeling good enough and constantly nervous that a manager was going to explode on you in any moment-- I had to get out of there.  And I did!  I had been praying for new opportunities to pop up for several weeks, but I was too lazy to actually go update my resume and print it.  Sure enough, the very day that I finally got around to doing it, I randomly wandered onto Craigslist and saw an open call for Mother Burger.  I went in, and got hired on the spot!  This was huge because everyone I knew that was looking for a job was having to search for several weeks, and I expected that I would have a similar fate, but thankfully everything fell into place.  Mother Burger is basically a fun burger and beer joint.  They sell $2 beers, $4 frozen margaritas, and $5 mixed drinks; if you've ever gone out in NYC, you'll understand how outrageously awesome these prices are.  As a result, I basically end up being a cocktail waitress by the end of the night-- going around and repeatedly bringing out new rounds for all of my rowdy tables.  It's a lot of fun, and the exact opposite of where I had come from, so therefore everything I was looking for.  Furthermore, it's a 6 minute walk from my house, so it doesn't get much better than that.  Naturally the pay is not as lucrative as Hillstone, but I'm happier... and calmer, and that's priceless.

Real-life Rockband

That's right! The most exciting thing that's happened to me since I moved here.  I'm in a praise and worship band!  I responded to an ad on Craigslist- which I'll admit I was a little leery about.  I had to travel to an obscure warehouse for our first rehearsal, but thankfully it was legit, and I came out alive.  James posted the ad and started the band.  He plays guitar and helps out on vocals.  Phil is our sweet drummer.  He's also the one who helped us find an amazing rehearsal spot.  We rent space from a man who charges about $10 an hour, and the space comes fully equipped with acoustic and electric guitars, drums, mics, amps, speakers-- the whole shebang. The landlord is super chill and doesn't care if we run over-- which may or may not be explained by the strong smell of reefer floating through the hallways as we leave.  It's hilarious because we come out of our soft, sweet worship rehearsal, and the bands waiting to come in after us are all donning black leather and bulky chains.  I always wonder if they can hear us while they're waiting; they must get quite a kick out of us.  Nevertheless, we love what we're doing!  I don't have pictures yet, but our recent additions are Angie (vocals), Kyle (bass guitar), and Will (keys).  We mostly play for fun, but we did get to lead worship for a service at a homeless shelter a few weeks ago.  Also as spring approaches, we're talking about going out to Central Park and playing on Sundays.  Either way, I heart all of my bandmates, and it's been great do something that I've always wanted to do.

Community Group

I started a Wednesday night Bible study at my apartment.  As most of you know, I was basically battling depression when I first moved to the city.  I finally decided to take matters into my own hand and start bringing back elements of my life that I loved.  Shout out to Jacob Blair who opened up his home and his kitchen to me for 2 years- hosting an intimate Bible study that literally changed my life.  His leadership is what gave me the inspiration to re-create something similar here in my apartment.  I reached out to a couple coworkers, girls from my dance program, and some friends of friends that I made in the city. From left to right, there's Tom, Tim, Amberlyn, and Bill; not pictured is Kevin, Richelle, Andrea, and Shannon.  We've had some great, meaningful discussions together, and I'm thankful for their friendship.

South of the Border

In March, I decided to give myself a Spring Break and took a trip to Cancun with some of my favorite ladies.  We had an absolute blast!  We stayed at an all-inclusive restort, so there was no need to ever leave our hotel.  Our days consisted of lying on the beach, eating, sleeping on the beach, eating, drinking by the pool, eating, and playing drinking games into the night.  The best night was when we finally decided to venture into the city to check out Cancun's night scene.  We had no idea where we were going, but our taxi dropped us off in the center of downtown where we were surrounded by clubs, music, lights, and loud spring-breakers.  To top it off, Nat whipped out her pack of glow sticks and started handing them out to all of us-- the night wouldn't have been the same without them.  The week was the perfect vacation from the City- a relaxing slow pace, gorgeous weather, making new friends, and reconnecting with old ones.  Viva Mexico!

Texas Bound
Lastly, I'm not going to be too specific right now because everything is still working itself out, and more importantly, I'm trying not to be my normal impulsive self and instead be patient and prayerful.  But due to some recent, exciting events, I might actually be packing up and leaving NYC a few months sooner than I expected.  I will definitely keep you posted as things unfold!