Life After Sugar

Recently a friend of mine reached out to me on Instagram and asked for my advice on "getting rid of sugar." I started to write her back in the DM's, but I quickly realized that I had so much that I wanted to say. I knew that if I just threw out a few shallow tips here and there, she wouldn't find success. Instead, I see this as a multifaceted, holistic journey that needs to be approached from a number of different angles including: food, mindset, and behavior. Note: I am NOT a doctor, nutritionist or psychologist, and my words below should not be treated as such. I encourage everyone to do their own research and listen to their body. But when my friend asked me to help her quit sugar, this is what I told her:

I first tried to give up sugar in 2009; it didn’t stick until 2018. So above all, be patient with yourself. It’s a journey. Here’s what I learned along the way that might help you save a few years--

1. Addiction. This may not be the same for everyone, but I realized that I related to sugar like it was a drug. To the degree in which people desperately try to quit smoking, drinking, or doing heroin, that's how hard it felt for me to give up sugar. When it was in my system, I spent most of the day thinking about when I was going to get my next "hit". There would be donuts or cake in the teacher's lounge at work, then I'd swing back through for seconds and thirds throughout the day, then I'd have to stop at the gas station on the way home for candy, then I'd walk to Walgreens after dinner for ice cream, and it felt like the craving could never fully be satisfied until I had eaten so much sugar that I finally felt sick and just needed to go to bed. No matter how strong my resolve was each morning, I'd find myself in the same routine day after day. My mom, however, could eat one square of a candy bar then tuck the rest away in the fridge for several weeks... practically forgetting about it. Whereas for me, HER candy bar was burning a hole in my brain, and couldn't rest until it was gone. So again, you have to assess for yourself, but if you feel like you are not in control of your actions-- meaning you're reaching for sugar or making detours to go buy something even though everything in your mind is telling you that you DON'T want to be doing that behavior, then the first step is accepting that you're dealing with an addiction rather than just a less-than-desirable habit. If for you it's not an addiction, then take the rest of the things I say with a grain of salt because you might not need the extreme treatment that I needed.

2. Cold Turkey v. Moderation. Moderation as it relates to sugar did not work for me. The first few times I did it, I tried no sugar all week and a just one dessert on the weekend. Nope. Led to binging on anything that had sugar in it all weekend long. Then I tried one dessert a month-- same result. I'd avoid sugar all month, then when I had that one treat, I would go on a sugar bender for almost a week. It wasn't until a year and a half ago when I said, I'm giving up sugar for good that it finally stuck. Because of the chemical reaction sugar was creating in my brain, I couldn't keep reintroducing it. Every time I did so, by brain would receive an extreme reward/pleasure signal, then when it crashed, it would spend the rest of the day trying to find foods that would bring me back up to that "high" again. And each time, I needed more and more to feel satisfied. I wanted to get it out of my system completely and stop putting foods into my body that operated at such extremes. Here is a 1-hour lecture (so it takes a bit of focus), but it's REALLY helpful in understanding the science behind brain activity dealing with overly-rich foods: The Cram Circuit. I felt like it perfectly described my interactions with food and really helped me to get a handle on my behavior. I highly recommend it!

3. Accountability. I just listened to this podcast interview where Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, talks about The 4 Tendencies. Listen to the 9 minutes from 34:17- 43:45. I learned that I was an Obliger, so the best way for me to commit to an action is to tap into my sense of accountability and responsibility. Therefore when I gave up sugar, I posted in a Facebook group in August that I was giving up sugar for the rest of the year and that I invited people to ask me periodically over the next 5 months if I had eaten sugar that day. If I had, then I'd pay them $10. I knew that I would follow through because I had said it aloud and I wasn't one to go back on my word to other people. I also knew that I didn't have money to be paying out $10/day for 5 months, so it actually really helped me to cut the cord during those first few weeks which is the hardest time.

4. Education. It's really helpful for me to read books and watch documentaries about nutrition every few months or so. This helped me to stop feeling like I was on a restrictive diet, and instead I felt inspired by the power that clean, whole foods can have towards helping the body run as effectively as possible and become the thriving, glowing work of art that it's supposed to be. Seeing the science behind fresh fruits and vegetables being such powerful agents for promoting positive health and eliminating disease, and simultaneously, seeing the narrative of donuts, cakes, cookies, and candy as the evil invaders that were wreaking havoc throughout our body was a great reminder that helped me to stay in tune with a deeper purpose beyond just wanting to lose a few pounds before my friend's wedding. Recommendations:

• Hungry for Change (Netflix)
• Plant Pure Nation (Netflix)
• The Whole 30 (book)

I have a ton more recommendations if you start geeking out about this stuff; let me know!

5. Crutches. So my hard and fast rule was no processed sugar of any sort, including things that sounded healthy like "organic cane sugar," "coconut palm sugar," "Stevia," etc. The only thing I allowed was RAW, unfiltered, non-processed honey and agave. And a year in, I started allowing unprocessed maple syrup, but I'm still deciding how I feel about it. The most important thing you can do is, READ the ingredients on EVERYTHING! Sugar is hiding everywhere! Crackers, sausages, soups, yogurts, Healthy Choice dinners, Amy's pizza, etc--all kinds of things that seem savory and like they shouldn't have sugar... it's in there. I still have a sweet tooth, and I want to eventually address that, but to help me get through the elimination phase, I still had treats that felt indulgent but were at least better than eating processed sugar and that helped me to stick to my goal. Dried mango, frozen Medjool dates, That's It bars, Lara bars, Go Raw chocolate squares, and if I was really about to lose it and needed to turn to an old source of comfort: Coconut Bliss ice cream (but read the ingredients carefully because some of them had cookie or brownie chunks, or other things that had sugar in them. I stuck to the Hazelnut Fudge and the Peanut Butter flavors).

6. Reflect regularly. My goal was getting to a place where I felt in control of my food, and that it wasn't in control of me. You have to play with different things and see what works for you. For example, in the beginning, I was EXTREMELY strict and wouldn't eat ketchup or dressings at a restaurant because I knew they had sugar in them and I was scared it would send me into a spiral. However, after about 6 months or so, I tried it slowly, and I didn't notice any change in my behavior the following days, so I felt like it was okay and something I didn't need to be afraid of when I ate out every now and then. However with the GoRaw and Coconut Bliss, although they helped me get over the hump of eating processed sugar, and they didn't lead to me going out and scavenging for more sugar, I still realized that I'd eat more than I intended to, and I'd feel sick afterwards. So I don't say that I can never have them again, but I think twice before I reach for them now because I know they are foods that make it a little harder for me to stop at a healthy amount. I just encourage you to be super diligent and aware at restaurants. For example, if you've been sugar-free for a couple weeks, and you order pad thai (obviously not thinking of it as a dessert), and then you realize (like I did) that you start having cravings or munchies in the hours or days that follow, then you'll learn that pad thai sauce is actually loaded with sugar and not something that's going to work for you in terms of staying craving-free and in control of your behaviors.

7. Make your own treats! Something I'm working on in 2019 is wanting to bake a batch of something once or twice a month. It's a great way to control the ingredients and not go around in the world feeling deprived all the time. There are tons of recipes out there now that use dates, honey, agave, and/or maple syrup to sweeten things and they're still delicious and exciting. I've gone a year and a half mostly avoiding pancakes, waffles, cookies, cakes, brownies, etc., and I needed to go through that season, but it would be great to reintroduce some healthy alternatives so that I can enjoy a Sunday morning waffle every once in a while. However I'll keep an eye on it, and if I feel like I'm trying to eat a whole pan of date-sweetened brownies in one sitting, then I'll re-evaluate and see if it's worth it.

8. The freedom paradox. On one hand, I can confidently say that there is a tremendous amount of freedom on this side of the addiction. My mind is clearer, I'm happier, and I'm not constantly living in shame about my choices. I lost weight (somewhat effortlessly compared to ways I've lost it in the past), I have lots of energy, and honestly, I just like myself better. I have a much healthier relationship with food-- not the constant yo-yo of restricting and binging. And when I think about what I'm going to eat for the day, I think about things like nutrient variety and biodiversity... which I can hardly believe that that's who I am now, but it's also really fun for me! On the other hand, even though I don't experience the intense cravings anymore, just like an alcoholic, I always feel like I'm one bad decision away from "relapsing" and reversing everything. I don't think this something in which I'll ever feel like I can just kick back and coast. So when I write out these tips, I don't write as an expert by any means, but rather someone who's still on a journey and is just sharing what I've learned along the way. I hope this helps!

Follow me on IG; let's figure this out together! @rachael_nicole_arthur 

A Winter's Hope

Just like all of creation, Winter, too, is a picture of the gospel.  It's cold, dark, and gloomy.  All around us, withered plants and leafless trees remind us of the certainty of death.  On some days, the suffering feels almost unbearable-- my face is stinging, my hands are stiff; there's actual pain associated with the depths of winter.  And if this was all we had to look forward to, many of us would surely give up and run away-- settling for an easier path.  But instead we endure.  We fight.  We press on.  Because we know that the suffering will only last for a little while, and soon Spring will make his triumphant return.  We know this to be true; there is no doubt in our mind-- and because we are so confident in this truth, it gives us the strength we need to persist.  We know that soon, and very soon, we will be surrounded by vibrant signs of life-- fresh green grass breaking free from the weight of snow and ice, fragrant wild floweres in full bloom, and most notably, the extended presence of the sun.  We will bask in its warmth, and delight in the beauty that it reveals around us.  The sun is the hero-- ultimately our only hope for Spring and rebirth lies in the return of the glorious sun!

Likewise, the Son is our hero-- our savior.  He will rescue us from our pain and suffering, our meaningless toil, our endless chasing, our relentless longing; he will usher us into the promised joys of new life.  Until then... we endure; we fight; we press on because we can be confident of His triumphant return... soon and very soon.  

Revelation 21:1-5a

Then I saw a new heavean and a new earth for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.  And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold the dwelling place of God is with man.  He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new."

Starting Bloc NYC

Hi Friends!  So it's been a little over 2 months since I finished the Starting Bloc NYC Institute, and so much has happened.  I'm volunteering with a start-up company right now, and we're about to launch our Kickstarter campaign, but here's a rewind of what I gained from the Starting Bloc experience.  

1. Fish Camp for Adults-- From the moment I received the acceptance letter to StartingBloc, which included a GIF of a man doing his “Happy Dance,” I knew that I was on the right track.  We had a Google Hangout with our Breakout Team 1 week before we all got to NYC.  My group decided to wear matching colors on the first day for the WIN!  Our very first assignment was to walk through the streets of New York actively seeking opportunities to fail-- you probably saw pics on Instagram.  All of the sessions were interactive and collaborative and creative-- everything I love. 

2. The Sessions-  We attended about 5 sessions a-day, each covering various aspects of being a change-maker.   Scott Sherman was our keynote speaker-- his doctorate was on studying social change movements throughout history that have been successful and identifying trends and key levers in these movements.  His session taught us about the three principles of transformative action.  All of the other guest speakers were equally as knowledgeable in their respective fields:  we learned about how to build strong organizational culture, how to use storytelling to invest people in your cause, how to raise capital for start-ups, how to prototype your business idea, and so much more!

3. The Scrimmage (life-changing)-- On one of the days we got into our 10 Breakout Teams, and we got to be consultants for a real non-profit going through the woes of being a small start-up.  We learned about a strategy called Rapid-Prototyping for Human-Centered Design which I quickly became obsessed with.  Basically, the founder of the organization, Library for All, shared a little bit about their company and the current problem they were having.  We then as a team had to come up with solutions and build a prototype… within 20 minutes!  From there, “Users" walked around the room and interacted with our prototype, and we used insight from their interactions and their feedback to make 'rapid’ changes to the prototype and then gather new User feedback.  Rinse and repeat for as many iterations as we could possible fit into the 2-hour scrimmage.  It was so exhilarating-- especially since it was a REAL situation for a REAL company-- look them up and share their video! 

(Side note: All my YES Prep leaders-- we NEED to talk about this!  This concept of this process was taken from the manufacturing world, but in Human-Centered Design, you don't have to prototype products, you can actually prototype ideas!  I was thinking about all the times we've rolled out new discipline or incentive systems for students, or overhauled the community service program, or tried to roll out a big campus strategic goal, etc. without TESTING them!  We spend hours in a conference room thinking about what we think should be, how we THINK people will react, and then ultimately making these elaborate plans, only to watch them flop, but then still have to endure them at least through the rest of the semester, if not the year (I can't tell you how many times I did that as a GLC or even just a classroom teacher).  However, with those same hours (actually much fewer), we could be running a Rapid Prototyping session and gaining a year’s worth of ‘user' insight before locking in big plans!  I'd love to talk to one of y’all about this, and help you try it out with one of your teams, or maybe even see about getting the ReWork experts to come lead a session like they did for us.  It was BRILLIANT!) 

4. Ideas Marketplace (game-changer)-- So this is where everything crazy kinda started.  They basically gave us an overview of how to give a 1-minute pitch about a project that you're working on in order to gain support.  Then 20 minutes later, we were thrown to the wolves and had to present our own 1-minute pitches to the whole room.  At that point, I still wasn't sure what I was focusing on, but they encouraged us to just nail down something so that we could gain the experience or presenting and storytelling.   It was probably split half and half-- some people, like me, just had a very baby seedling idea, and other people had fascinating, well-developed ideas-- a lot of them, actual companies that they had already started.

Examples:

*Give a Day Global- partner tourists up with one day of volunteer work during their international vacations to help raise awareness for different issues/communities

*Thought Collective Design- Founder, (a 22 year old girl) lives in Zimbabwe and employs women to make clothes for a clothing line she sells in Austin, TX.  Allows those women to care for their children rather than leaving them at the orphanage. 

*I don't know the name of the company, but they sell cookies and chips made from cricket powder as a more affordable source of protein for and in response to non-sustainable factory-farming

*Report It Girl- a website for collecting stories and providing nurturing community for women who have been sexually abused.

*Spare Change- wanted to start collecting the stories of homeless people (similar to Humans of New York) to bring awareness and help people gain a better understanding of people in need

(You can look most of these companies up online and like their pages!)

Sooo I talked about what I knew… inner-city students in Houston, and gave my pitch on wanting to create an organization that taught character skills like empathy, courage, grit, leadership, etc., especially in low-income communities-- think workshops, retreats, summer camps a la Andria Groover and I, circa 2011.  I wasn't expecting much since I wasn't a legit company like other people, but after the Ideas Marketplace, several people came up to me share that they really loved what I talked about and how important it was, some others wanted to join forces with the similar ideas and experience that they had, and still others just wanted to connect me with people in their networks who were working on something similar.  Which led me to Happy Heart Kid…

Happy Heart Kid is a start-up that I found out about through one of my SB Fellows.  The founder has created a series of activity kits for children ages 3-8 which use games and craft projects to teach specific character skills like Empathy, Grit, Self-Control, etc.  It's not the direction that I was thinking, as the institute I had in mind was going to be a service for pre-teens and teens rather than a product for kids, but it was still a great starting point to learn.  I'm not ready to start my own company, as I’m still focusing on studying performing arts while I'm still young :), but one of the commitments I made on the last day of SB was to volunteer with different start-ups 1) because it makes me happy to be a part of such interesting projects, but 2) to gain valuable experience in the social start-up sector.  So I've been slowly taking on the social media marketing for Happy Heart Kid, and helping with product testing and revisions. We're about to launch our Kickstarter campaign on November 12th!  We've been gaining more and more followers and even have been mentioned on some big mommy-blogs, so it's exciting to watch it grow.  I'm nervous because we are shooting for a big goal with our campaign-- and with Kickstarter, we don't get any of the capital if we do not reach our whole goal, but no matter what happens, we're going to learn so much from this process.  So if you haven't already, like our FB page, follow us on Instagram (Happy Heart Kid), and sign up for our email updates on our website so you can see the journey unfold!  I do most of the quotes and pictures on our page each morning, so you'll know the face behind the posts! :)  

It's Your Turn! Lastly know that Starting Bloc just posted their dates and locations for 2015, so if any of this sounded interesting to you, look up their website to learn more and reach out to me so we can chat about it!

Wrestling with Hopelessness

Tossed and turned all night from thoughts and images after seeing '12 Years a Slave'. A wave of sadness and depression washed over me-- not in response to the typical narrative of black vs white, but instead at the realization of the depths of wickedness and depravity that lie within all of our hearts. It's only by the grace of God that he does not turn us all over to the true nature of our flesh. My mind keeps scrolling through the centuries and centuries of slavery, oppression, and genocide-- starting from the Israelites in Egypt and wondering under what present-day injustices are others still suffering. 

I keep thinking, "It could have been me..."

I'm trying to understand how people found the strength to endure a life of such despair, and I find myself clinging desperately to our promised savior-- it's the only thing that could offer any form of hope in the reality of such cruelty and utter darkness.

In the New Testament Paul says, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Oh, how I pray that this is true.

"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:18-28

It's our only hope...

Birthday Blogs- Kate

June 5th
Kate Cottrell

She's brave and independent...

She's introspective and reflective...

She's passionate and compassionate...

All things I love about her... HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE!!!!!!!!!!


I am so proud of you and the journey you've been on for the past 2 years. 

And I'm so thankful that Mark asked us plan SDR together... that was 6 years ago!  Who knew that I'd get a best friend out of it?! 

Thank you for teaching me the value of long-lasting friendship, and not running away when things get tough.

I feel like every conversation I have with you is meaningul and life-changing.  I have learned so much from you, and your life is an inspiration to me every day-- even when you're thousands of miles away.

 Love you.  Miss you. And I can't wait to hug you!  Happy Birthday!!!

Birthday Blogs- Andria

I don't know what happened in September about 26 years ago, but almost all of my besties have birthdays in May or June.. and this year, unfortunately, I'm on the other side of the world.  :(  So here's my official kick-off to the Birthday Blog in honor of the beautiful people in my life who I love dearly and wish I could be with this month!

June 2nd
Andria Groover


Thank you for listening to all my junk and constantly reminding me that, 'Christ is all'...

Thank you for being so comfortable in your own skin. You're my inspiration...

Thank you for teaching me how to dream big...

I feel like I'm losing my other half... I don't know what I'm going to do without you...

But you definitely left YES (and me) better than you found it...

Know that I love you deeply, and I always will. You I hope you have the happiest of birthdays today!

Thy Sweet Mercy

I've felt inspired to write recently.  And although the idea of "starting my blog back up" and catching everyone up on my move back to Texas and the last year of my life seems overwhelming and crippling, I am driving out the feelings of anxiety that would normally paralyze me and keep me from even trying.  Instead I'm taking the "How Do You Eat an Elephant?" approach... "one bite at a time..." 

So here's a tiny morsel of some of the thought patterns filling my life right now:
-----------------

This morning this hymn had me weeping uncontrobally, specifically this verse:

Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here,
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived,
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.

Recently, I've been coming to terms with the innate wickedness of my heart:
-I am selfish...
-I live in jealousy...
-I keep score...
-I hold onto bitterness...
-I squander my time, my money, and my talents...
-I seek the approval of others
-I am ungrateful and discontent

The list goes on and on.  But recently I've learned about a God who doesn't ask me to clean myself up, but rather to come just as I am.  And the more I learn about this loving God, the more I despise myself for my sinful heart, wondering how someone could show mercy towards me, but all the more I love God for loving me inspite of my wretchedness.  

I think Paul would understand me...

Romans 7:15-25
"For I do not understand my own actions.  For I do not do what I want but I do the very thing I hate.  Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.  So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.  For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.  For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.  So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.  For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.  Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

And as the hymn says,
'But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived,
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.'

Later Paul goes on to reassure us:
Philippians 1:6
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

Before I Go

Ok, it's official; I just bought my ticket-- I have 2 more weeks left in NYC!!! Yikes!!! I know I'll be here again soon, but I still have a long list of things that I want to make sure I do before I leave.  I also took a walk down memory lane while I was compiling this list, and it reminded me of how blessed I've been this year.  What an incredible and life-changing experience!

If there's anything missing from my list, let me know!  But keep in mind I only have 14 days to do them!

Broadway
Mary Poppins
Phantom of the Opera
Chicago

Been there, done that:
Sister Act
Book of Mormon
Memphis
West Side Story
Wicked (Broadway on Tour)
How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying



Shows
SNL- I hear you have to sign up for this once a year, but I'm still keeping it on my list :(
David Letterman
Apollo Theater- Amateur Night
Free Summer Concert Series
Nuyorican Poets Cafe- slam poetry open mic- waited in a line that wrapped the building, but couldn't get in.  I hear it's that good!

Been there, done that:
Broadway on Broadway- opening season show in Times Square- performances from each Bwy cast (and I was in the intermission performance!)
GLEE Live Tour- "audience member" for movie filming and then tickets to the concert afterwards






Experiences
Kayak in the Hudson
Trapeze at Chelsea's rig
Explore High Line park
Eat a hot dog at Coney Island
Jersey Shore/ the Brownstone/ and Teresa and Joe's pizza parlor

Been there, done that: 
Walk the Brooklyn Bridge- done several times- INCREDIBLE at sunset
Attend a Yankees game
Museum of Modern Art- you need the entire day
Visit Ground Zero on Sept 11 
Ride bikes through Central Park- delightful during leave-changing season
Boat cruise around Lady Liberty
View NYC from the top of the Empire State Building
Rockafeller Center- breathtaking at Christmas time
Write on New Year's Eve confetti that falls in Times Square
Union Square farmer's market
Shopping in Williamsburg, Brooklyn- super hipster
Korean-town Private Karaoke Rooms- so much fun!





Restaurants
Nook
Patsy's
Papaya King
Bagelberry- it's the Pinkberry of bagels and cream cheese! So many options!


Been there, done that:
Amy Ruth's- chicken and waffles
Grimaldi's- voted no. 1 pizzeria in NYC
Shake Shack- okay burgers; incredible ice cream blizzards, including one with jelly donuts!
Vinyl- most hilarious waitstaff; crazy good brunch
Blockhead's- 17 different flavors of frozen margaritas! coconut's my go to 
Mother Burger- great junk food menu; fun environment; cheap drinks
Hot Bagels- strawberry cream cheese mixed with real strawberry slices
Hillstone- scariest management, best all-around food in NYC
Clinton St. Baking Co- biscuits and jam instead of bread basket
Five Napkin Burger- okay burgers; coffee toffee brownie sundae- to die for!
Southern Hospitality- amazing ribs, stuffing, and sweet potato fries; worst-case pecan pie
Food Trucks: hot dogs, hot sausages, falafel, waffles, pretzels, hot nuts, bagels, dumplings- wow this list amazes me! so many great things can come from a truck!



Desserts 
Serendipity- signed up for the 2 hour wait list, but didn't stay
Magnolia
Crumbs
Dean and Deluca

Been there, done that:  
Max Brenner's- creative dessert designs
Junior's- best cheesecake
Pinkberry- Swirl is better
Levain Bakery- their cookies are the size of muffins! and delicious!





Bars
Irish Rogue
Brooklyn Brewery
Redemption
Frying Pan- bar on a boat in the Hudson

Been there, done that:  

Mercury Bar- party goes all night long; top 40 music pumping; friendly crowd 
O'Flaherty's- live music 7 nights a week
Reunion Surf Bar- ditsy waitresses, but fun tropical drink menu
Smith's Bar- live music, full dinner menu, decent time

Exploration

I thought I'd announce this here as a special reward to my blog followers.  First of all, thank you so much for your support during my year of adventures and self-discovery.  It's been such an intense and emotional year, but honestly, something as simple as knowing that you guys were reading this, and encouraging me to update more frequently, helped me to feel grounded in your friendship even though I was miles away. 

When I was in Nicaragua, there was a girl there who was volunteering from the States.  She had lived there in a small village for over a year with limited communication with her family-- i.e. a few times a week when she could get into the city and find an internet cafe, etc.  She was wrapping up her time in Nicaragua, about to move back to the U.S., and I remember her telling me that her biggest fear throughout her time in Nicaragua was the idea that her family and friends' lives just kept on going without her in it.  At the time I didn't fully understand her statement-- it seemed a bit selfish and a little over-dramatic; it's not like her family was going to forget about her, and it was only a year...  But within my first month of living in NYC on my own, her comment kept running through my mind, and I instantly found its meaning.  So again I thank you for taking an interest in my adventures, and essentially, even if it was just for a few minutes a day, allowing our two worlds to intersect. 

With that being said, here's my fun news:
As of 1:06pm (EST), I became the newest and proudest East End Explorer!  I will be East End's very first dance instructor, and I get the extreme privilege of building a dance program from the ground up! And the icing to the cake: my new boss helped assuage one of my fears by being extremely flexible and creative in allowing me to find ways to continue my dance education in Houston so that I don't lose all of the training and development I acquired here in New York City.  I'm extremely excited about my next chapter, and feel as though everything is falling in place more perfectly than I could have imagined.  I'll be staying in NYC as long as possible so I can squeeze out every ounce of talent and passion from this rich city-- probably leaving towards the end of July (the poet in me leaning towards the 26th to be exact, rounding out my one full year to the date)!

So there it is!  I am excited to be coming back to Texas and YES Prep-- drastically different, and eager to apply all that I've learned about life to my new phase, while still very much the same, and excited to feel at home again. 

'Tis so sweet...

Food for Thought

After recently retiring from my 8-month stint with waiting tables, I woke up at 4:30am this morning to return to the food service industry-- but this time with joy and excitement in my heart.  For many years, I've struggled with a desire to serve people who are homeless and hungry, but always having a different excuse for not getting involved.  Today was a first step as I went to St. Bartholomew's Church to serve a warm breakfast to anyone who chose to come.  What I loved about the church was that they had us set up 36 place settings, and allowed men and women to come in and sit for as long as they wanted.  Once someone left, a new person was welcomed in to have a seat.  No one was rushed, and seconds and thirds were given upon request.  Ladies walked around the room with carafes offering more apple juice and hot coffee, and as our guests left, they were encouraged to take baggies with tuna sandwiches and cereal bars with them for later in the day.  And if they wanted extra sandwiches, all they had to do was ask.  I couldn't get over how laissez-faire the whole process seemed to be.  I suppose I was expecting people to be herded through a line and scolded for asking for more than their fair share-- as if they should simply be grateful that we were doing this great service for them... but perhaps I was projecting those expectations from the darkness in my heart...

I just couldn't understand how everyone was going to be served endlessly without us running out of food, but to my great surprise, we had leftovers by the end of the meal, and we were trying to give extra food away!  And as always is the case in these situations, I walked away humbled and enlightened...


Late in the afternoon the Twelve came to him and said, "Send the crowd away so they can go to the surrounding villages and countryside and find food and lodging, because we are in a remote place here."  [Jesus] replied, "You give them something to eat."  They answered, "We have only five loaves of bread and two fish." (About five thousand men were there.)  But he said to his disciples, "Have them sit down in groups of about fifty each."  The disciples did so, and everybody sat down.  Taking the five loaves and two fish and looking up to the heaven, he gave thanks and broke them.  Then he gave them to the disciples to set before the people.  They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.  Luke 9:12-17

Defying Gravity

I don't really know who's reading which blogs, but this was a pretty defining moment in my NYC life, so I'm posting it to my main blog.  If you want to know more about my dancing/singing training, follow me on my 30-Day Full-Voice Challenge Blog: Rachael's 30-Day Challenge.

Today was my first private lesson with Kurt Robinson-- the organizer of the 30-Day Full-Voice Challenge: Broadway Dance Center-- Full Voice Challenge.  I've taken group classes from him for several months, but I've been afraid of going to his Performance class or taking private lessons from him because I didn't think I was ready.  Here's a blurb from the bio on his website:

Kurt’s clientele have enjoyed thriving performances in some of the hottest Broadway productions and national tours, including Billy Elliot, In the Heights, Hair, Spring Awakening, The Color Purple, Hairspray, Wicked, The Lion King, Tarzan, The Little Mermaid, Phantom of the Opera, Dream Girls, Guys and Dolls, West Side Story, A Chorus Line, Producers, Chicago, Spamalot, American Idiot, and the Radio City Rockettes. He has coached recording artists for the Columbia Artists, Jive, Def Jam, Epic, Atlantic, and Nickelodeon labels.

I hope this begins to paint the picture of why I was a little nervous about singing in front of him.  Nevertheless, in the Challenge's spirit of facing my fears, I signed up for my lesson with Kurt in hopes of learning from one of the best.  In preparation for our first meeting, I ran all over town trying to print and purchase sheet music for various songs so that we had a variety to choose from.  I didn't want to get there and have him tell me that none of the songs I had were really appropriate for my voice.

After walking me through some vocal warm ups for about 30 minutes, he asked me what music I brought.  I told him that I really wanted to work on "Landslide" by the Dixie Chicks, but I could only find the Fleetwood Mac version.  I told him that I also brought "Fallen for You" by Colbie Caillet, and that long, long, long term I really hoped to one day work on the Glee version of "Defying Gravity".  We tinkered with "Landslide" for a few moments, and he told me what key I could transpose the music to so that it would sound like the Dixie Chick version.  He had me sing through "Fallen for You" once, and then he said: "This is too easy for you.  Bring out the 'Defying Gravity'!"

Let's just say that for a brief second there was a mini 4th of July fireworks display inside my chest.  I went to my bag and pulled out my Glee music book-- I tried to use those few seconds to take deep breaths and relax.  And as he played the intro, I realized this is it, all or nothing... I'm just going to go for it.  And I went for it.  I sang that song like I had done so many times before--  in my bedroom when I was positive none of my roommates were home, in my car with the windows rolled up tight, in the shower when the water and tile acoustics make everyone sound like American Idol-- I went for it.  When I finished, I waited for the casual dismissal, the "yeaaaa... let's hold on to that one..." or the "we can keep coming back to that one when we want to push ourselves..."  But that's not what he said.

Instead he said, "You are definitely ready for this piece."  And although it's been 9 months since I've moved to New York City, my journey started today, in that moment.  I've been called out on it so many times before-- I am my own worst enemy, and my mind is the one thing that's holding me back.  I'd heard it from Goheen, "Trust yourself, Rachael."  I'd heard it from Bettina, "Just go for it."  I'd heard it from Sheila, "Get out of your own way."  I'd heard it from my other teachers, and my mom, and my friends, and complete strangers.  I've heard it since I was 9 years old starting my very first dance classes at Miss Darlette's studio. I've heard it my entire life.  So it was nothing new when Kurt told me, "You have the technique and you're doing everything right, you just need to build your confidence."  But for some reason, today was my tipping point, and today, I chose to listen. 

Today I decided to accept the fact that I'm an artist.  Being an artist isn't about trying to outdo the person next to you, or about being the best, or becoming a star.  It isn't about the competition at all-- quite the contrary.  You become an 'artist' when you recognize that the comparisons no longer matter, and you do what you do because something comes alive inside of you when you do it.  Artists dedicate themselves to developing their craft, and they get as much of a thrill receiving a standing ovation at a sold out theater as they do in the privacy of their own studio when they master a new technique in their practice.  Rachael the Artist recognizes that there will always be room to be better, but that truth is no longer viewed as a defeat; instead it's viewed as a reward-- part of the ongoing commitment to growth and creativity that artists accept with their title.  I knew 'something changed within me' when I realized that for the first time in my life, I am no longer afraid of failing... I'm afraid of not trying.


"I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so.  Some things I cannot change, but 'til I try, I'll never know."
-Defying Gravity

The Revolving Door

Meet Christy Krumm.  Christy and I met on our first day of orientation at Hillstone Restaurant.  We were the only two new hires that day, so we immediately clung to one another as we tried to get acclimated to the intimidating environment that was our new job.  During our time together, we realized that we had a lot in common.  We were both brand new to New York City-- just a few weeks apart from one another.  She had moved from sunny beaches of California to pursue her dream of writing, and I had moved from the rolling plains of Texas to pursue my dream of dancing.  (I do recognize that I am from the thriving metropolis of Houston, and that I have never lived on a rolling plain, but it just go with it. :))

A few months into our friendship, Christy and I realized that we attended the same church.  She then invited me to a community group and the women's Bible study that she had been going to, and I started to attend those gatherings as well.  Whenever Christy and I would run in to each other, we would update each other on our lives, and it was apparent that we were in a similar love/hate relationship with the City... 
---
I'm wrapping up my time here in NYC, and I've been jotting down ideas of how I will capture this city and my time here in my blog-- I knew I was going to entitle it The Revolving Door and explain its tenacious and temporal qualities, but last night Christy sent some of us a link to her blog, and I knew that I could now never write that post.  She wrote it for me-- and it's beautiful and eloquent and accurate.  I'm just thankful that she beat me to it because she's an incredible writer, and my words could not have done justice to what this experience has been like.  So here's a window into my heart through the words of Christy Krumm: http://bloggingmisschris.blogspot.com/2011_02_27_archive.html. 

His Kingdom Come: On Earth As It Is in Heaven

Johnny Wilcox called me an angel...

I got into a really good conversation last night.  I was talking with some friends about the possibility of there being a more spiritual realm present in this life that we can tap into through meditation, yoga, prayer, or some form of extended communication with our creator.  And although I feel that we can be proactive in accessing this realm and being more aware of its presence on a regular bases, I also believe that there are random moments throughout our lives that the realm itself actually cuts through our obliviousness and forces us to face the deeper level of spirituality that lies beneath the surface of this life-- whether it's being inexplicably moved by a piece of music, or  having a breathtaking experience with nature, or feeling as though time stood still when you were drinking wine and sharing stories with the just perfect permutation of friends.  ***  Haley shared a story with us of a young boy at her camp that was paralyzed on the left side of his body, but loved dancing.  And while dancing at camp, he got so lost in the music, so 'surrendered' to the moment, that at one point both of his arms just danced up above his head.  To me, these are moments when the spiritual realm pierces through our thick layers of egocentrism, and materialism, and every other artificial -ism that society drowns us in, in order to expose small glimpses of what the creator truly intended life to be.

A few months ago, I had an encounter with said spiritual realm, and I wrote it down in my journal so I could come back to it and remember God's clear signs of his presence in our lives:

I had been praying for you to soften my heart and show me more day-to-day ways that I can serve those who are less fortunate than me and teach me to see people as Jesus saw them.  I passed by Johnny today as I was walking home from church.  He shook his cup of money, I smiled at him and kept walking, and he called out after me, something like, "Have a blessed day."  After several more steps, something tugged at my heart-- I can't keep walking away from the poor saying that I'm afraid to give them money because I don't know what they'll do with it.  That's just an excuse, and you are calling me to something more.  So I turned around and asked him if I could buy him a sandwich.  He asked for an egg and cheese sandwich and a cup of coffee.  While I was inside purchasing his meal, I wondered how this was advancing the kingdom of God.  Wasn't I just giving him a handout?  Wouldn't I just be dropping off an inexpensive sandwich and then be on my way to my warm apartment and my fridge full of groceries?  Would he in any way link this act to 'God'?  Would this in someway strengthen his faith and bring him closer to you?  Would this in any way change him or change me?  I wanted to be obedient, and I wanted to help someone in need, but I couldn't understand where you really fit into the picture.  Nevertheless, I took his sandwich and coffee out to him, and he was mid-conversation with a man who had just left a dollar in his cup.  I didn't fully understand what the original question must have been, but Johnny was answering it fervently: "Of course I have Jesus! God is sending me angels!  This morning I had pains in my stomach because I needed something to eat.  This girl (pointing to me), at first passed by me, but then turned back around to offer me food.  And you've given me this dollar so I can buy a cup of coffee later.  I sleep under the train tracks at night, with the rats, and when I wake up in the morning, I'm dehydrated-- I need a cup of coffee.  So people say, 'Is there a God, or is there not a God?' Of course there's a God! And he's sending his angels to us.  God is good!"  And there was my answer.

Really?! Could that conversation have been any more perfectly engineered and timed?!  Not to say that every person who is helped believes in God or that he's sending angels, but that conversation was for me, not Johnny.  In fact, I would be bold enough to say that Johnny knows more about God than I do.  Perhaps Johnny spends more time accessing the spiritual realm than I do.  To sleep with rats, in the subway tunnels, in the dead of New York winter, and say, 'God is good,' displays a level of faith that I've never experienced in my life.  Johnny was actually my angel that day that God was using to speak to me.  I instantly flashed to my months of whining and complaining in NYC-- about being cold or not having enough money or feeling lonely...

God, I don't know how you put up with me, but thank you for your patience, and thank you for teaching me a little every day.  May I be diligent enough to spend time-- removed from the hustle and bustle -- tapping into your realm of unfiltered joy, peace, and love.

Winter Wrap-Up

I know it's mid-April, and many of you have been enjoying 70+ weather for several weeks now, but here in NYC, we're finally at the tail end of winter.  In looking at the consistency of my blog posts, it looks as though I hibernated for the winter, so here's my attempt at summarizing all the awesome things that has happened here in the Big Frozen Apple.

Curtain Call

I graduated from my Broadway Dance Center program!  So now I just take classes on my own schedule.  Being a free agent is going well, but dancing so much during the program really put a strain on my body, and my old injuries have resurfaced-- specifically my once torn hamstrings.  I've done a lot of internet research regarding the matter, and I think that I have years of scar tissue that built up around my hamstrings, and every time I take class and force myself into different positions, the tissue tears a little more and more scar tissue develops.  I've lost a lot of range of motion, and it's been very frustrating.  I'm planning on trying acupuncture later this week; I'm not sure if that's the answer, but I've tried a lot of other things, so this is next on the list.   No matter what, I'm hopeful that I can be healed! *** As a result of my dance injuries, I started focusing more on singing towards the end of my program.  I changed my concentration from just Jazz to Jazz/Theatre.  Adding Theatre to my concentration allowed me to add several voice classes into my weekly schedule.  In May, I'll be performing a vocal ensemble piece at Symphony Space.  Rehearsals are going well, and I'm excited to perform at such a large venue.  I'll try to post a video! *** Lastly, I went on my first dance audition last week.  It was a HUGE first step for me.  I've been terrified of going, and there were actually several points throughout the day when I almost turned around and crawled back into my bed, but I stuck it out, and I did it!  And thanks to everyone who voted on my headshots. I actually didn't have them ready for the audition, and had to use a 4x6 photo which was really embarrassing, but it gave me the push I needed to finally place the order.  I hope to go on at least five more auditions before I leave NYC.  There's not really any show that I specifically want to be a part of, but I just want to get over my fears in general-- that will be the greatest gift I will take from this whole experience.  So I'm going to keep cranking them out; wish me luck!  

Hillstone's History
Black tie. Black vest. Black slacks. White buttoned-down Oxford. White apron with starched crease. Slicked back pony-tail. 'All slain. All dead.'  Yes I finally quit my job at Hillstone Restaurants! The anxiety and negative energy was too much for me.  It was actually affecting the rest of my NYC experience, as I spent most of my week dreading the approach of my next shift.  My heart would literally race as I started each shift.  I started getting to work early and bringing my Bible with me so I could give myself time to calm down.  It just wasn't a healthy environment-- never feeling good enough and constantly nervous that a manager was going to explode on you in any moment-- I had to get out of there.  And I did!  I had been praying for new opportunities to pop up for several weeks, but I was too lazy to actually go update my resume and print it.  Sure enough, the very day that I finally got around to doing it, I randomly wandered onto Craigslist and saw an open call for Mother Burger.  I went in, and got hired on the spot!  This was huge because everyone I knew that was looking for a job was having to search for several weeks, and I expected that I would have a similar fate, but thankfully everything fell into place.  Mother Burger is basically a fun burger and beer joint.  They sell $2 beers, $4 frozen margaritas, and $5 mixed drinks; if you've ever gone out in NYC, you'll understand how outrageously awesome these prices are.  As a result, I basically end up being a cocktail waitress by the end of the night-- going around and repeatedly bringing out new rounds for all of my rowdy tables.  It's a lot of fun, and the exact opposite of where I had come from, so therefore everything I was looking for.  Furthermore, it's a 6 minute walk from my house, so it doesn't get much better than that.  Naturally the pay is not as lucrative as Hillstone, but I'm happier... and calmer, and that's priceless.

Real-life Rockband

That's right! The most exciting thing that's happened to me since I moved here.  I'm in a praise and worship band!  I responded to an ad on Craigslist- which I'll admit I was a little leery about.  I had to travel to an obscure warehouse for our first rehearsal, but thankfully it was legit, and I came out alive.  James posted the ad and started the band.  He plays guitar and helps out on vocals.  Phil is our sweet drummer.  He's also the one who helped us find an amazing rehearsal spot.  We rent space from a man who charges about $10 an hour, and the space comes fully equipped with acoustic and electric guitars, drums, mics, amps, speakers-- the whole shebang. The landlord is super chill and doesn't care if we run over-- which may or may not be explained by the strong smell of reefer floating through the hallways as we leave.  It's hilarious because we come out of our soft, sweet worship rehearsal, and the bands waiting to come in after us are all donning black leather and bulky chains.  I always wonder if they can hear us while they're waiting; they must get quite a kick out of us.  Nevertheless, we love what we're doing!  I don't have pictures yet, but our recent additions are Angie (vocals), Kyle (bass guitar), and Will (keys).  We mostly play for fun, but we did get to lead worship for a service at a homeless shelter a few weeks ago.  Also as spring approaches, we're talking about going out to Central Park and playing on Sundays.  Either way, I heart all of my bandmates, and it's been great do something that I've always wanted to do.

Community Group

I started a Wednesday night Bible study at my apartment.  As most of you know, I was basically battling depression when I first moved to the city.  I finally decided to take matters into my own hand and start bringing back elements of my life that I loved.  Shout out to Jacob Blair who opened up his home and his kitchen to me for 2 years- hosting an intimate Bible study that literally changed my life.  His leadership is what gave me the inspiration to re-create something similar here in my apartment.  I reached out to a couple coworkers, girls from my dance program, and some friends of friends that I made in the city. From left to right, there's Tom, Tim, Amberlyn, and Bill; not pictured is Kevin, Richelle, Andrea, and Shannon.  We've had some great, meaningful discussions together, and I'm thankful for their friendship.

South of the Border

In March, I decided to give myself a Spring Break and took a trip to Cancun with some of my favorite ladies.  We had an absolute blast!  We stayed at an all-inclusive restort, so there was no need to ever leave our hotel.  Our days consisted of lying on the beach, eating, sleeping on the beach, eating, drinking by the pool, eating, and playing drinking games into the night.  The best night was when we finally decided to venture into the city to check out Cancun's night scene.  We had no idea where we were going, but our taxi dropped us off in the center of downtown where we were surrounded by clubs, music, lights, and loud spring-breakers.  To top it off, Nat whipped out her pack of glow sticks and started handing them out to all of us-- the night wouldn't have been the same without them.  The week was the perfect vacation from the City- a relaxing slow pace, gorgeous weather, making new friends, and reconnecting with old ones.  Viva Mexico!

Texas Bound
Lastly, I'm not going to be too specific right now because everything is still working itself out, and more importantly, I'm trying not to be my normal impulsive self and instead be patient and prayerful.  But due to some recent, exciting events, I might actually be packing up and leaving NYC a few months sooner than I expected.  I will definitely keep you posted as things unfold! 

Lessons from the Other Side of the Desk

Dedicated to my friends still in the trenches...

Hi, my name is Rachael, and I need approval from others.

That's a humbling thing to say when you're 27 years old, but it's truth.  And if it's true for a successful, grounded adult, it's more than true for an insecure, lost teenager.

Teacher friends this post is written for you!  These are some basic observations that I know we all know in theory, but perhaps this will be the reminder you need to refocus your efforts.  I wish I could teach a class tomorrow just to address some of these lessons that I've learned, but I hope you'll apply some tips from my current situation and report back with your results!  That way I can live vicariously through you and feel like I've made some sort of atonement for the mistakes I made during my tenure as a teacher.  I've boiled my experiences as a student to 4 basic ideas:

1. You Know My Name?!

The very first class I took at Broadway Dance Center was a ballet class with Beth Goheen.  I  arrived to NYC a week before my program started, so I was just taking class on my own trying to get a feel for the studio.  On that very first day, in that very first class,  Beth asked me my name as she has addressed me by name ever since for the past 6 months.  I took classes at studios in Houston for years, and was NEVER asked my name.  Furthermore, no other teacher has done that since I've been here.  Every day she starts class by walking through the classroom, greeting students by name, exchanging pleasantries, and introducing herself to people she hasn't met yet.  Throughout barre and across the floor, she consistently calls out my name and delivers both critiques and compliments about my work.

As a result, I work harder for Beth's class, than I do any other class.  I try to get there early; I stand in the front; I never mark my arms.  I work hard to apply the corrections she's giving me because I want her to know that I'm listening and that I'm growing.  Even though it's been 6 months now, there's a spark that ignites inside me every day, every time she says my name.  That being said, she addresses me every day, every time I'm in class.  From the first few moments that class starts, when she comes around greeting everyone, I become more present in the classroom.  I'm not just a warm body taking up a spot in a dance class, instead I'm an artist that Beth believes in and with whom she chooses to share her practice.

Application: Greet your students, by name, at the beginning of class.  Take advantage of that time before the bell rings. If this is something you do at the door every day, great! But don't make it seem too routine.  If you missed some people or had to rush everyone in at the end, walk around while they're doing their do-first, or silent reading, or journal writing, and say, "Goodmorning," to them.  Ask them about that book they were reading in the hallway, or about their brother who brought home that stray puppy yesterday, or anything that shows them that you remember them as an individual.  This will take some prep work.  It means you can't be writing on the board or stapling papers, or all the other things that we think HAVE to get done before the students walk in the door.  Furthermore, try to make sure you are addressing every student by name at some point throughout the class-- whether it is asking them a question or giving them praise.  I know a lot of times students would raise their hands, and I would just point or nod in their direction, or say, "Go ahead," to allow them to speak, but there is something significant that happens when you hear your name aloud. This humanizes the student, and makes them feel present in your class.  You want this.  I promise you, they'll work harder.  And this isn't something that you just do the first day after they come back from Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break, etc.  They need it every day, every class. 

2. Free Pass
This lesson I learned in the classes that were the opposite of the Beth Goheen classes.  These were the classes I took when I was feeling tired, lazy, or defeated; they were my free passes.  I knew that the teachers didn't know my name and didn't know my potential.  I could stand in the back; I could come out of my balance when my calves started cramping; I could lower my arms when my deltoids started burning.  No one was going to push me, or call me out when they knew I could do better.  On the other side, I could dance my arse off, and do the best that I've ever done in that class, but it wouldn't make a difference. No one was tracking my progress and acknowledging my growth.  I wasn't one of the rockstars in the front, so it was like I was not even there-- a free pass.

Application:  Are there students who might say that about your class?  They show up every day because they have to, but they're not one of your all-stars getting called on all the time, and they're not one of your knuckleheads getting called out all the time-- they're just there.  Identify those students.  No like really... take out a notebook, and write their names down.  Experiment: Can you list all the students in one of your classes without looking at a roster? Not by mentally going around the room based on your seating chart... but just list every student by who comes to the top of your head.  When you get stuck, or have to pause for a few seconds, you've identified the students to whom you've given free passes.  I guarantee you the majority of those students are not working at their full potential when they're in your classroom.  It's not too late... reel them in!  All it takes is a quick, "Good job, Angela!" or "Look at you! You're totally getting it now!"  Literally seconds of your time that will imprint their minds for months, even years to come. 

3. I Will Break My Ankle for You

Sheila Barker... still scares me.  If you ask most students around BDC about Sheila, they'll say something similar.  Her warm up is probably the hardest warmup of all the classes at the studio.  You're sweating within the first 6 minutes of class, but I wouldn't dare whine or wince while I'm in that class.  I just take really deep breaths, and literally pray to God that I don't pass out while I'm in there.  But if I had to, I would.  I would rather be carried out of her class on a stretcher than quit or cheat during any of her exercises.  She is fierce, and she's not afraid to get in your face.
-"Flat back over, reach longer, longer, LONGER! LONGER!  HOLD IT! Are you breathing? I can't hear you? HOLD IIIIIIIT!  Ok, relax over."
-"Uuuuuugghhhhh!" The whole room exhales.  
-"Oh, now you're breathing," she laughs. "Ok, let's try it again."
Puddles of sweat are gathering on the floor, but no one quits.  We all keep pushing-- keep 'fighting for it.'

This one is a little harder to explain.  I don't fully understand why we all work so hard for Sheila.  I mean we're all grown adults, there's nothing to really be afraid of, but there is definitely fear in that room.  Here are my two guesses: #1) No matter how old you get, no one ever wants to be embarrassed in front of their peers.   And although Sheila is compassionate, and we know her actions come from a good place, she will call you to task if she thinks you are giving her anything less than your personal 100%.  Let me clarify that she is very deliberate in differentiating her students, and she won't embarrass you because you aren't as good as the person next to you, but she will embarrass you if you aren't as good as the person you were the day before.  #2) Sheila's just scary.  She's demanding.  She has high expectations.  You never know exactly what to expect from her.  She is challenging-- regardless of what level of dancer you are; you will get your butt kicked.  There's just no such thing as an easy day in Sheila's class.

Application: #1) I don't think there is anything wrong with a little ol' fashioned humiliation. Again, let me be clear that there's a difference between belittling a child because of their lack of abilities (never, ever acceptable), and belittling a child because of their lack of effort (very, very appropriate).  Students need to learn to be embarrassed when something has their name on it, and it's not their best work.  I still remember my 4th grade Social Studies teacher, Mr. Huffman.  I was terrified of him.  But I made sure to do my reading and homework every night because I didn't want to be embarrassed in class.  There's an art to humiliating kids-- you have to switch it up.  One day you send a student outside-- you'll deal with them when you have time, you don't want to waste their classmates time, the next day you raise your voice so you make an example in front of the whole class, the next day you keep your voice low and tell them you're so disappointed... you can't be predictable.  The other side of that though, is that you don't want the student to shut down in your class.  Although they did not bring their best effort that day, you have to go out of your way to find something to praise them about-- whether that day or the very next day.  Remind them of what it's like to be acknowledged for the right reasons, and that you are lavish in your praise if they are giving you their best.  #2) Be scary.  That doesn't mean be rude and distant- that's not how Sheila is at all; she's actually quite fun-loving.  But you should be the type of teacher that students know they're going to work in your class.  It's going to be hard, and they're going to have to use their brain.  And just because they're giving you the "right" answer doesn't mean that's enough.  In fact, there's never an "enough" point-- they're always pushing for more, inquiring about more, thinking more critically.  They should know that for the next hour, they aren't going to rest, and their brain is going to hurt.  Every grade level has that class.  Strive to be that class for your students.  The one that the students are all still talking about at lunch.  The one that they all keep saying is, 'soooo hard,' but they say it with a smile on their face because they delight in the challenge.  

4.  I Feel Like I'm Floating
--"What's your name?  Wow, fabulousness! Keep coming back, ok?!" --H. Rigg
--"That's it Rachael!! You've got it!"-- B. Goheen
--"You have a beautiful voice..." -- B. Sheppard
--"No, thank you.  You had such wonderful focus and intention with your movement." --A. Dones

Simple. Nothing profound or elaborate.  But life-changing and life-breathing all the same.  I remember the words; I remember the teachers; and I remember the feeling.  At the end of every class, students go literally go out of their way to walk to the front of the studio to pass by the teacher before they go out the back of the room.  We all mask it with 'thank you's' for the teacher and for the class, "Thank so much! That was such a great class!"  Blah, blah, blah.  Although our teachers are INCREDIBLE, and we really do appreciate them, there's that tiny inkling inside of you hoping that you did a good enough job in class that the teacher will linger on your 'thank you' just a little bit longer than everyone else's and ask you your name, and where you used to dance, and give you the faintest hint of praise on your artistry.  Again I remind you, these are mostly 20 and 30 year-old men and women-- hungering for recognition and approval from their teachers.

Application: I think the application here is clear.  Let positivity flow from your lips all day long.  In public, in private; aloud, in notes; before class, after class, during class-- as much as you can fit in in a day.  Take inventory of how much you complain and reprimand compared to how much you encourage and uplift-- a good number to strive for is 10% to 90%.  That's a really hard percentage to reach, but words are so powerful, and they can practically breathe life into a student.  I can't stress enough how simple these words need to be. "Great work today, Johnny!" and maybe a pat on the back as they're walking out the door is all you need-- you can change. their. day.  And often that message will fuel them for another week or two, leaving them excited to show up to your class each day because you notice their effort. As shallow as that is coming from me, put yourself in the mind of a 12 year-old... case closed.

Closing Notes
First of all, I didn't know exactly where to fit this in, but the whole time I was writing about the rigor and demand of Sheila Barker combined with the encouragement and acknowledgment of Beth Goheen, all I could think about was Emily Peck.  If you haven't sat in on her class, please find time to go this week, and be mesmerized.  But be careful because she might also make you want to quit your job as you realize you will never be the teacher that she is-- so why waste any more time trying.  ;) She epitomizes all of these principles I discussed, and I wish I could have had more time to study under her and basically be her. 

Secondly, I hope most of you know me well enough to know-- that IIII know-- that my classroom fell faaaar short of upholding these principles.  I use 2nd person in this post simply because you guys are still in it, and you can make changes tomorrow morning!  I wish I could.  Please try something out this week and write me back with your thoughts and results!  Maybe you can give me some tips on being a better student.  :)